Blessed Art Thou among Women

Two of the people in my world (well, that I know. One is my sister who is IN my world & the other is my ex husband whom I KNOW) caused me to meditate on a subject that is near and dear to my heart, as well as controversial to some Christians. That is the Church's teaching on The Holy Mother and her role in our salvation. The former is starting RCIA this fall, while the latter believes in Catholic teaching and is also exploring conversion.

My sister admitted that she is having a difficult time with "Mary" and I remember my dear, African Methodist Episcopal mother saying that, "...Mary is just a woman like you and I". That satisfied my sister, but I always felt that it just couldn't be true. I knew that I was not worthy of bearing the Infant Christ and I also knew that she hadn't given birth to Him (I am in part evidence to that fact). Maybe it's providence, or maybe it is because I was born on the day the Church celebrates her immaculate birth. And while my father, in his country raised mentality, God love him, wanted to give me the middle name "May".  My mother in her east coast good taste changed it to "Marie". Early into my middle ages, I developed a deep love for St. Marie Euphrasia and her Eudist charism. Providence?

It was very easy for me to come to give my heart to her Immaculate one.  There are other times in my life where I clearly see her as my spiritual director, as many of us do. But in a nut shell, I just believe. Unfortunately, not living a childhood having that devotion nurtured, I am not always the best Marian apologist, but I do try. I have spoken of Genesis 1:15. I also pointed to her Old Testament prophesy as she is the human Arc of the Covenant. All this to no avail. I guess I need to brush up on my Scott Hahn.

Then, a couple of weeks ago, my ex had the opportunity to watch Mother Angelica and her sisters pray the Rosary. He said that what he kept hearing was the part of the prayer where it says, "Blessed art thou among women" and his mind focused on it in meditation. He said that now, he understood my devotion, moreover he saw that he needed to look at the way he treats all women. If she is a role model for Christian womanhood, he is realizing the conscious effort he needs to make and treat not just her with respect, but all women. I noticed a rare moment of insight and clarity, that I normally don't pick up with this individual. I don't mean to lack charity, but it is true.

So, I took that thought to its next logical conclusion. Christ is our Brother, because God is His and Our Father. So Mary, the mother of God, that makes God her Divine Spouse. Right there she at the very least deserves respect, at a minimum. But then, I also remembered a conversation with a friend. She was talking about a conversation with a young man who happened to be Jewish, just like Mary. In ancient Hebrew law, kingship was passed on through the mother, the only one to have the king's ear. But that was the "aha" piece of fact. That was when this friend disclosed another "factoid": Jewish men must pray and observe Jewish prayer and worship tradition everyday, not just on the Sabbath. Women, on the other hand, do not. That isn't to say that mothers aren't still responsible for passing the faith on to the next generation, nor that they aren't responsible for observing Jewish laws. The reason for this "dispensation" is that women are given the gift, the honor of actually bearing children. Therefore, she deserves a special place in people's heart. There, now we can say it, "AHA!!!"

Mary is not a role model of a "submissive, quiet woman" like old time feminists used to say. Not at all. Rather (or better) her place in the order of things makes her motherhood, being the mother of God's Only Begotten Son, is what gives her a natural place of importance in Christianity. No, you aren't obligated to pray to her or ask for her prayers, but she is 100% about bringing us to Her Divine Son. He is the most important person in our faith. She delivers him to us daily. She isn't offended if one doesn't wish to ask for her assistance. No, because Jesus is the reason we have hope. Jesus is the role model for all of humanity. Jesus is Love.

It's that simple.

Life in this World Wide Web

Who says no good comes from cyberspace? Everyday, we read and hear the stories. A young man has taken his life after being bullied online on social networks. Nigerian fraud is so prolific, we make jokes about it. And, then there are the people who are murdered and the victims were unlucky enough to fall into a trap set in the classifieds. When I think over the almost 15 years I have been in the cyber world, I believe I have been truly blessed. Yes, there is so much negativity to be found there, but that is because there is evil in the world. If you seek the devil, you will find him no matter where you roam. But if it's God you seek, you will find him there in abundance.

I have friends, long time friends, that I have met on Yahoo! email groups. I've received support to get through my illness and my daughters' no less from these friends, in some ways more, than I gathered from people I see face to face on a regular basis. Most of the encouragement I have gleaned from online relationships has been not only just what I needed, it has kept feeding fuel to the fire that is my love for Jesus. I wouldn't be many of the things I am if not for "this machine". Media has always been the driving force shaping society. Ancient peoples painted and marked walls of their caves. God blazed the Ten Commandments on stone tablets. The Vatican Library contains volumes of ancient writings, original writings from King Henry VIII, writing love letters to Ann Boleyn. Villages had the town crier, then postal networks, books and newspapers. Now, we have Scott Pelley or Katie Couric. I know my grown daughters still believe that I was alive when Abraham Lincoln was president, but they take lightly the fact that when I was a little girl, there wasn't a TV in every home. That is just inconceivable in their minds. I do remember having many a teacher preach against the evils of television. Even though it connected the world in a way that people couldn't yet grasp, the same naysayers who warned the world about Satan invading homes via the tube have offspring, warning us of the same evils on the net.

I understand their misgivings, I really do. I am equally so repulsed by the deviant behaviors that seem to slither through the digital device that gives me this forum. Still, seek and you shall find. It has served as the alarm for me to minister to the world who is loosing its crown jewel: Life. The family is suffering. The vocation of marriage is suffering. Children, unborn and birthed, are suffering. Everything that has made human life beautiful is being destroyed on a global scale and bad times seem to be coming a warp speed. So much strife, so much malevolent behavior paving the road to perdition.

Then, I find (on Facebook, the ubiquitous social network) this website. It is simple, but absolutely beautiful IN its simplicity. I have spent hours penning the facts about the charism of the Oblate Sisters of Mary Magdalene, and the creators of this page give few words and a few images to say it quite completely. And sweetly:
http://www.jesus-loves-you.org/?p=439

It's All About Love

Yes, the title of this blog is cliche, but that doesn't make it any less true. We all believe we have the same definition of the word "Love", it means different things to all of us & it's the same for all of us. Those who don't understand it are doomed to a life of unhappiness. From the outside, they might be people we envy, but inside, they're dying slowly. Something so common to being human can be misunderstood & allusive. Sadly, that isn't cliche.

The same thing is true about faith & religious life. I had a conversation with someone who proclaimed herself an "Agnostic", but it leaned towards Atheism. She once said to me that,"...just because I am spiritual doesn't mean I believe in some old man with a long white beard sitting on a chair high above the clouds." I told her that I didn't believe in that either. Then I tried to explain that God is Love, something that just didn't register. I pray that she will come to the reality of "Love" in her lifetime.

Then, there are those whose only idea of religious life is someone who lives in a community, has daily regimented prayer lives & while they may not wear a habit, they just have bad taste in bland clothing. I remember a priest telling me that he has a sister who lives consecrated life in community. He said that her mentor or superior was "all over her every move". They just don't have any other conception of the idea of living the consecrated life in the secular milieu. How can you possibly educate someone about a charism without having constant watch over their every waking moment?First of all, I think they under estimate the power of modern technology. Most people have unlimited, low cost long distance calling. It's not an insurmountable feat to coordinate schedules. You have basic earmarks to your expression of living the way of life a charism, but the horarium is a flexible one. It is almost as simple as weaving it into your everyday way of life. Fixing a meal for your elderly parent is a prayer of love. Going to a child's parent/teacher conference is a gesture of love and a prayer. To live as a religious secularly is to make things that seem mundane something of a greater purpose, an act of love.

Tonight is a perfect example. My 19 year old is sifting through her wardrobe to donate what she no longer wears to charity. She doesn't believe in giving away anything substandard. She is laundering those items along with her clothes she wears now. She is tired & sleeping, so I went into the laundry room & folded everything. It reminded me of how I would come home at her age, telling my mother that if she would wake me in the morning, I would get up & do my laundry. But when I awoke the next day, usually around 11am, I would find all my clothes clean & neatly folded in the laundry room. I never thanked her for that, as much as I appreciated it & adored her for it. Monique won't thank me tonight either, but I know that when she is old enough, she will look back on what I did with fondness & love. My prayer will be heard. That is love.

Just because something doesn't fit into our traditional view, doesn't take away its validity. Living as a religious is making your very existence a prayer. The same can be achieved in one's own home amid other homes. I know I always come back to this, but rather than looking for self gratification & living the "social life" you believe you should or should have had while young, but feel fettered by young children, CONSECRATE single parenting. You have an entire life to live and no greater garden can be planted than raising God's children. I realize it's not easy. I also acknowledge societal pressures that tell people they aren't whole without a significant other in your bed each night. By the time we realize that isn't true, it's too late. One of the problems with our society is our inability to work for the long term benefit & the greater good. I pray that I model being a good single mother. Before I decided I wanted to live religious life, I realized that my children were the most important charge that I had at that time. Rachel was the product of marriage that ended in 1989, but I chose to adopt Monique as a single person in 1996, she was five then. I have a cousin who once told me I live in a high stress household... that tickles me. Maybe it's true, but I wouldn't change a thing. Every time my grown daughters say grace before a meal, when they thank God for their successes or achievements & every time they hear an emergency siren, they cross themselves & say a Hail Mary, I know that my prayers are being heard.

A Bride Late in Life, A Bride of Christ

People who know me may pooh-pooh me when they hear my often (what they perceive to be trite) observation that #1 CONVERTS RULE! & #2 People who live their consecration in the secular world as opposed to the cloister have a most difficult & misunderstood row to hoe. Yep, I can see all of your collective heads shaking & your tongues "tsk"-ing. But I know what I know! (That was one of my favorite lines in "Driving Miss Daisy")

I was young, 19-20 when I made the move from Grace African Methodist Episcopal Church to the life of an African American Catholic woman, but I can honestly say that since I did convert, each day with my faith is like opening a present every day. Each decision, every action (even those of which I cannot be proud, I repent), every smile, warm cuddle, big smile, bad joke.... they are all parts of something that Mother Church holds most dear: LIFE.

All of my choices, good and bad, have lead to the wonderful life I live now. Oh, I shed my share of tears to be sure. You cannot have raised two daughters into the 21st Century and remain dry eyed. When I had the epiphany that I had always wanted religious life when I was younger, but didn't have the courage to approach The Oblate Sisters of Providence in Baltimore... and I have family in Baltimore! At that time in my life, I suffered from Slinky's Disease. I was born with no spine. There is the beauty of getting older though, you develop a spine, whether you intend to or not. And, of course I could point to all of my good decisions, like my daughters, but every pot hole, buckle & bump in the road has lead to some of the best fruit. And, I STILL say I have Mother Church and My Divine Spouse to thank for that.

Recognizing that you don't have a married vocation, even though you operate in a venue that says ALL women have a married vocation. But for me, the whole coupling thing never felt right. It was easy to blame that on me. Then, when I was going through the annulment process with my advocate, Deacon Frank X Ball, my eyes were opened to that which I am TRULY called. He told me that I could commit my heart and soul to Jesus, while taking on the mission of raising, successfully, two of the most wonderful daughters a mother could have. Our Lord, Jesus Christ, has always served as their father. I realize the standard is high, but find me a better role model, and I'll give you a gold star. Also, I am encouraged to live with Christ as my spouse. He is there for me, even in my most challenged moments.... and there were many. That rocky ship of my life sails smoothly now, I allowed Him to come up to the top deck, look over the sea of my life and say, "Peace, be still". Of course, it obeyed.

I do feel that my first mission for Christ is almost a completed success. Rachel is 30 and developmentally handicapped. Her maturity may never be much beyond that of a 12 year old, but she is the most positive, sweet, loving and happy souls to ever inspire me. From her, I learned NEVER to look at the "IQ" they've handed me. NO. I always wanted my children to have the blessing of the kind of parents as I was so blessed. She has held a job, even when the economy goes south, since she was 16. And the jobs came to HER. People have come to her and begged that she work for them, being a native English speaker, who gets along with the others, regardless of their native language. Then, last Friday, while she worked her weekly soda station job at "Sonic", a hearing impaired customer came to the door, because she couldn't give her order to the servers. Rachel told her boss that she could help. She went to her, took the order & accurately submitted it. The customers were most grateful, as was her boss and co workers. She taught signing to HERSELF, with always carrying a fascination for sign language and the story of Helen Keller (first book she downloaded on MY eReader). It has paid off. And I thanked Her Father for giving her this gift. She reminds us that NO ONE is defined by others' expectations and snobbish standards.

The only thing I regret in raising Monique is that she was adopted by a mom who doesn't like to take pictures... not even on vacations & we've had some slammin' "VAYKAYS". She was the littlest, five year old peanut I'd ever seen. When she moved it, I was living the vows of the evangelical counsels with the Good Shepherd sisters local to Columbus OH. I had prayed a novena to St. Mary Euphrasia Pelletier, their foundress, for nine days. On the ninth day, I was advised that she was my daughter. She fit like a new glove and I immediately had her baptized, "Monique Marie Euphrasia Dunson" in thanksgiving to the saint who went to bat for me. I knew some other wonderful woman chose life and carried her for me. I am forever in her debt.

Recently, Momo is connecting with people she knew in the foster care system and a family that wanted her, but it wasn't their time with a teenager having issues and a curmudgeon dog who wasn't the kindest and gentlest. They were wealthy, not a thriftanista like I. But to that, Momo says, "Mom, God just meant for me to be your daughter. He knew what's best for me." Don't tell her, but I cried when she said that. She is studying to be police officer with the aspiration of becoming a detective. Hmmm... I wonder how much my addiction to "Forensic Files" "CSI" "Law & Order" et al contributed to that aspiration? Hmmmm.

On June 22 at 9am, I professed the vows of poverty, chastity and obedience as an Oblate Sister of Mary Magdalene. I felt as if I had lost 25 pounds. I could feel hugs and caresses and kisses, and I knew no human was there administering those feelings. I felt so loved. So many think that those vows are restricting. I find them freeing and a reaffirmation of what I have accomplished in my life. I wanted, I strived to make each good deed a prayer for His Glory. I am deeply contrite for any and all wrongs I have done to My Lord. But now, somehow, since I actually became a Bride of Christ, I know there is purpose in every word, moment, breath, motion, viewing.... all that I am, I am for him. I am happy for my friends who have fallen in love and had/have big families. What I recognize now is the blessings I am trying to bring to my extended family. I pray that I am a good witness for Christ.

Those of us who have spent our lives, seeking the Living among the dead, recognize Him now and must do as he says: Tell all the world that He IS RISEN. We encounter Him every day and become most intimate through Adoration and most importantly, His Gift of the Eucharist.

"You shall see the face of God and live."

"Be Not Afraid" is a long time favorite hymn of mine. Whenever I find myself in great fear or turmoil, it automatically comes to mind. I chose it to be played at my mother's funeral. Regardless of the circumstances when I hear it, I feel warm & comforted. It is just quite simply, lovely & it's not a piece of music confined to grief or fear.

I think of the times in the Gospels and The Acts of the Apostles that people encounter Jesus without recognizing him. And in my life, especially St Mary Magdalene. I've done my share of "..lookin' for love in all the wrong places". Of course, not just romantic love, but the warm feeling of doing a good job and being recognized for it. Or feeling popular and accepted. I've always been wanting to live a useful and purposeful life. The greatest of all my "lookin'" is finding my own faith. I've always been a believer, but I mean finding the Sacred Heart of Jesus and receiving His True Presence of Christ in the Eucharist. Living the fullness of faith and purposefully embracing The Truth.

I will be the first to admit to my political incorrectness and its accompanying ornery sense of humor. I was raised by the couple who invented the PC concept. When we were kids, they tolerated our watching "The Beverly Hillbillies", never missing an opportunity to remind us that all Southerners are not stupid. They drew the line with "Hogan's Heroes" due to their perception that it portrayed Germans as sinister, stupid Nazis (I know, that's extreme, but that was my parents). I've been known to enjoy a good blond joke, but I think that is a small piece of the need we all have to rebel against what our parents believe and teach. My love for the Cincinnati Bengals & disdain for the Cleveland Browns is is another piece... Sorry, I digress and apologize.

These past few months, I have been fighting my demons. Like most of us, even as we recently discovered, I have been having a flat, questioning of my faith experience. No matter how down I may have felt, I STILL felt the Holy Arms of Jesus surrounding me. As someone who lives basically a simple life, by choice, the rising prices of everything is a difficult challenge, most of all I am overcome with feelings of guilt & inadequacy when I cannot do something for the girls & if I become lax in getting cat toys to keep the little people exercised. The latter is admittedly petty to most, but I love my cats as I do my daughters.

This afternoon, as I napped, I heard the entire song, "Be Not Afraid". God has a subtle way of waking us up, reminding us to be aware that he is here AND he always loves us. Even His children who are in prison, even those who deny Him.... He loves us all equally as my parents loved us girls and as I try to raise mine. It's time for me to stop succumbing to my fears and move on.

My pet show is put on a delay, only because I have to take a different approach to fund raising from sponsors. His Will be done, however.