Tuesday, June 28, 2011

A Bride Late in Life, A Bride of Christ

People who know me may pooh-pooh me when they hear my often (what they perceive to be trite) observation that #1 CONVERTS RULE! & #2 People who live their consecration in the secular world as opposed to the cloister have a most difficult & misunderstood row to hoe. Yep, I can see all of your collective heads shaking & your tongues "tsk"-ing. But I know what I know! (That was one of my favorite lines in "Driving Miss Daisy")

I was young, 19-20 when I made the move from Grace African Methodist Episcopal Church to the life of an African American Catholic woman, but I can honestly say that since I did convert, each day with my faith is like opening a present every day. Each decision, every action (even those of which I cannot be proud, I repent), every smile, warm cuddle, big smile, bad joke.... they are all parts of something that Mother Church holds most dear: LIFE.

All of my choices, good and bad, have lead to the wonderful life I live now. Oh, I shed my share of tears to be sure. You cannot have raised two daughters into the 21st Century and remain dry eyed. When I had the epiphany that I had always wanted religious life when I was younger, but didn't have the courage to approach The Oblate Sisters of Providence in Baltimore... and I have family in Baltimore! At that time in my life, I suffered from Slinky's Disease. I was born with no spine. There is the beauty of getting older though, you develop a spine, whether you intend to or not. And, of course I could point to all of my good decisions, like my daughters, but every pot hole, buckle & bump in the road has lead to some of the best fruit. And, I STILL say I have Mother Church and My Divine Spouse to thank for that.

Recognizing that you don't have a married vocation, even though you operate in a venue that says ALL women have a married vocation. But for me, the whole coupling thing never felt right. It was easy to blame that on me. Then, when I was going through the annulment process with my advocate, Deacon Frank X Ball, my eyes were opened to that which I am TRULY called. He told me that I could commit my heart and soul to Jesus, while taking on the mission of raising, successfully, two of the most wonderful daughters a mother could have. Our Lord, Jesus Christ, has always served as their father. I realize the standard is high, but find me a better role model, and I'll give you a gold star. Also, I am encouraged to live with Christ as my spouse. He is there for me, even in my most challenged moments.... and there were many. That rocky ship of my life sails smoothly now, I allowed Him to come up to the top deck, look over the sea of my life and say, "Peace, be still". Of course, it obeyed.

I do feel that my first mission for Christ is almost a completed success. Rachel is 30 and developmentally handicapped. Her maturity may never be much beyond that of a 12 year old, but she is the most positive, sweet, loving and happy souls to ever inspire me. From her, I learned NEVER to look at the "IQ" they've handed me. NO. I always wanted my children to have the blessing of the kind of parents as I was so blessed. She has held a job, even when the economy goes south, since she was 16. And the jobs came to HER. People have come to her and begged that she work for them, being a native English speaker, who gets along with the others, regardless of their native language. Then, last Friday, while she worked her weekly soda station job at "Sonic", a hearing impaired customer came to the door, because she couldn't give her order to the servers. Rachel told her boss that she could help. She went to her, took the order & accurately submitted it. The customers were most grateful, as was her boss and co workers. She taught signing to HERSELF, with always carrying a fascination for sign language and the story of Helen Keller (first book she downloaded on MY eReader). It has paid off. And I thanked Her Father for giving her this gift. She reminds us that NO ONE is defined by others' expectations and snobbish standards.

The only thing I regret in raising Monique is that she was adopted by a mom who doesn't like to take pictures... not even on vacations & we've had some slammin' "VAYKAYS". She was the littlest, five year old peanut I'd ever seen. When she moved it, I was living the vows of the evangelical counsels with the Good Shepherd sisters local to Columbus OH. I had prayed a novena to St. Mary Euphrasia Pelletier, their foundress, for nine days. On the ninth day, I was advised that she was my daughter. She fit like a new glove and I immediately had her baptized, "Monique Marie Euphrasia Dunson" in thanksgiving to the saint who went to bat for me. I knew some other wonderful woman chose life and carried her for me. I am forever in her debt.

Recently, Momo is connecting with people she knew in the foster care system and a family that wanted her, but it wasn't their time with a teenager having issues and a curmudgeon dog who wasn't the kindest and gentlest. They were wealthy, not a thriftanista like I. But to that, Momo says, "Mom, God just meant for me to be your daughter. He knew what's best for me." Don't tell her, but I cried when she said that. She is studying to be police officer with the aspiration of becoming a detective. Hmmm... I wonder how much my addiction to "Forensic Files" "CSI" "Law & Order" et al contributed to that aspiration? Hmmmm.

On June 22 at 9am, I professed the vows of poverty, chastity and obedience as an Oblate Sister of Mary Magdalene. I felt as if I had lost 25 pounds. I could feel hugs and caresses and kisses, and I knew no human was there administering those feelings. I felt so loved. So many think that those vows are restricting. I find them freeing and a reaffirmation of what I have accomplished in my life. I wanted, I strived to make each good deed a prayer for His Glory. I am deeply contrite for any and all wrongs I have done to My Lord. But now, somehow, since I actually became a Bride of Christ, I know there is purpose in every word, moment, breath, motion, viewing.... all that I am, I am for him. I am happy for my friends who have fallen in love and had/have big families. What I recognize now is the blessings I am trying to bring to my extended family. I pray that I am a good witness for Christ.

Those of us who have spent our lives, seeking the Living among the dead, recognize Him now and must do as he says: Tell all the world that He IS RISEN. We encounter Him every day and become most intimate through Adoration and most importantly, His Gift of the Eucharist.