Yes, the title of this blog is cliche, but that doesn't make it any less true. We all believe we have the same definition of the word "Love", it means different things to all of us & it's the same for all of us. Those who don't understand it are doomed to a life of unhappiness. From the outside, they might be people we envy, but inside, they're dying slowly. Something so common to being human can be misunderstood & allusive. Sadly, that isn't cliche.
The same thing is true about faith & religious life. I had a conversation with someone who proclaimed herself an "Agnostic", but it leaned towards Atheism. She once said to me that,"...just because I am spiritual doesn't mean I believe in some old man with a long white beard sitting on a chair high above the clouds." I told her that I didn't believe in that either. Then I tried to explain that God is Love, something that just didn't register. I pray that she will come to the reality of "Love" in her lifetime.
Then, there are those whose only idea of religious life is someone who lives in a community, has daily regimented prayer lives & while they may not wear a habit, they just have bad taste in bland clothing. I remember a priest telling me that he has a sister who lives consecrated life in community. He said that her mentor or superior was "all over her every move". They just don't have any other conception of the idea of living the consecrated life in the secular milieu. How can you possibly educate someone about a charism without having constant watch over their every waking moment?First of all, I think they under estimate the power of modern technology. Most people have unlimited, low cost long distance calling. It's not an insurmountable feat to coordinate schedules. You have basic earmarks to your expression of living the way of life a charism, but the horarium is a flexible one. It is almost as simple as weaving it into your everyday way of life. Fixing a meal for your elderly parent is a prayer of love. Going to a child's parent/teacher conference is a gesture of love and a prayer. To live as a religious secularly is to make things that seem mundane something of a greater purpose, an act of love.
Tonight is a perfect example. My 19 year old is sifting through her wardrobe to donate what she no longer wears to charity. She doesn't believe in giving away anything substandard. She is laundering those items along with her clothes she wears now. She is tired & sleeping, so I went into the laundry room & folded everything. It reminded me of how I would come home at her age, telling my mother that if she would wake me in the morning, I would get up & do my laundry. But when I awoke the next day, usually around 11am, I would find all my clothes clean & neatly folded in the laundry room. I never thanked her for that, as much as I appreciated it & adored her for it. Monique won't thank me tonight either, but I know that when she is old enough, she will look back on what I did with fondness & love. My prayer will be heard. That is love.
Just because something doesn't fit into our traditional view, doesn't take away its validity. Living as a religious is making your very existence a prayer. The same can be achieved in one's own home amid other homes. I know I always come back to this, but rather than looking for self gratification & living the "social life" you believe you should or should have had while young, but feel fettered by young children, CONSECRATE single parenting. You have an entire life to live and no greater garden can be planted than raising God's children. I realize it's not easy. I also acknowledge societal pressures that tell people they aren't whole without a significant other in your bed each night. By the time we realize that isn't true, it's too late. One of the problems with our society is our inability to work for the long term benefit & the greater good. I pray that I model being a good single mother. Before I decided I wanted to live religious life, I realized that my children were the most important charge that I had at that time. Rachel was the product of marriage that ended in 1989, but I chose to adopt Monique as a single person in 1996, she was five then. I have a cousin who once told me I live in a high stress household... that tickles me. Maybe it's true, but I wouldn't change a thing. Every time my grown daughters say grace before a meal, when they thank God for their successes or achievements & every time they hear an emergency siren, they cross themselves & say a Hail Mary, I know that my prayers are being heard.
