An Urgent Call to Consecrate Single Motherhood

Last week, in the city of Columbus Ohio, there was a beautiful, 4 year old boy named Lawrence King III. The operative word is "was". This handsome, mildly developmentally handicapped, vibrant, young man was taken to Children's Hospital completely bruised and beaten all over his innocent body. He was dead on arrival. He had just been returned to his family two days before from Child Protective Services.

The mother has been indicted for criminal child endangerment. That is because her so-called husband, father of her younger child, but not a father to Lawrence, was charged for capital murder in the boy's death.

In my last discussion of this topic, I mentioned some behavior from the pride mentality of felines. The mother cat hides her babies or leaves another mother in charge to protect them while she hunts for food. If a male who hasn't sired them finds them, he will kill them all, so that HIS BLOODLINE can flourish. I am firm in my belief that humans are vulnerable to the same "instinctive behavior". The step father, or step mother, for that matter, who takes another's offspring as their own is rare. It's a beautiful thing, to be sure. It's just not a sure thing.

Now, I lament that I wish the young boy's mother knew that she had self worth regardless of whether there is a man in her life or not. I wish she had a model of a fulfilling lifestyle without companionship, at least while she is raising her young. Maybe she should have left Lawrence with his grandmother or maybe an aunt after her new marriage. I saw her mother on TV, tearfully expressing these same thoughts.

I take it one step further, mothers who find themselves single for whatever circumstance must make their children their first responsibility and priority. Dating comes third. Taking care of yourself would be in second place. These women need to know how to manage their lives and support for the loneliness that comes with single parenthood. They need Jesus as the spouse who models for their children. That is how I raised my two daughters, one by birth, the other a special needs adoption (her special need was being African American and over the age of three). I wanted to model for them that it is possible to be a single mother and retain your dignity and piety. My daughters, 18 & 29, are both virgins. In fact, the younger one once said a couple of years ago, "Mom, there is this girl in my class, she is a freshman, AND SHE IS PREGNANT! She isn't even still dating the father! Isn't that stupid? I guess she doesn't believe in a future for herself."

No, I'm not the model mom or the best parent on the planet. Far from. But I am a blessed mother, who proves that, WITH GOD, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.

More Forgiveness

I think I missed something in my last writing about forgiving. I am not going to back track on self forgiveness, but clarify forgiving others.

Forgiveness doesn't mean you condone bad behavior or to have to socialize with an offender. People who offend should take their victims as they come, and sometimes {sadly), their victims are fragile.

Now an admonishment for the victims. Think about the culpable situation. What ever the experience, all day long, you need to make a decision about choices and happenings. You should be discerning, "...is that from God or the Evil One?" If it makes you smile without any encroachment on your morals, it is from God. If it makes you feel bad, it simply is not from The Saviour, but from Satan. Plain and simple.

Now let's finish the logic here. Satan is a liar. He will spare no expense to defeat you and keep you from the Living Christ. Most especially the closer you get to God, the more work he will do and pull out all the stops. People living the consecrated life know this all to well. He made a sweet, red apple poison to the human condition, so the lies he is telling you are just not true and you must let that go.

Also, just as the offender has to take his victims as they come, the victims must think the same about the offender. Maybe they are compensating for a perceived short coming. Maybe they are angry with a spouse, neighbor, boss or co worker. Bottom line, they just simply make the wrong choice. What they need from you isn't self pity or cowardly thinking. What they need are your prayers.

Move on and focus on THE TRUTH IN THE WORD MADE FLESH. That is one key element into learning true forgiveness.