If I had a dime for each time someone questioned the Catholic Church for the annulment process, someone who poo-poohed it, people who say it "illegitimizes" the children who are a product of an annulled union.... etc.... I would never have to worry about my income again! Of all the misunderstood aspects of Mother Church's life for her people, I would venture to say this is at the top.
It has received so much bad press from the non Cathlic media, that it is no wonder people are so afraid of it. I have a non Catholic friend who claims a religious sister called her to grill her about her failed marriage. Apparently, he was getting an annulment to marry another young woman (a union that didn't last, because anyone who follows a faith on the instructions of their male body's appendage is rowing thier boat with one broken oar). My dear friend was understandibly resentful of the allegations. But did she express her anger at the real person behind the probe? No, she just thought it was a "viscious nun" who was bent on making her out to be something she is not. I asked her why that particular interrogation was so hurtful, and she said it's because she felt that the sister represented the Church and that it was beyond cruel. *the blogger sighs & shakes her head*
First, I reminded her that since she has known me, not the Canonical investigator, that I am the practicing Catholic who should be the apologist for any misunderstandings she holds about Mother Church. Secondly, I tried to remind her that but for her ex's actions, she wouldn't have gone through that hurtful exchange. Women never blame the man when matters of their less than successful unions arise. That goes for people jealous of "the other woman" or the cheating female in the illicit duo. Women in our society have so much invested in being the nurturer who keeps the marriage glued together. And whether, in this day and age of "feminism", most or many of us need to acknowledge that we are not judged by whether or not we are in a relationship or if it works or not. *blogger sighs & shakes her head yet AGAIN!
It took me a good three years to complete my annulment paperwork, for a variety of reasons. I wanted one so that I may pursue my hearts mission of living the consecrated life and to make sure that all ties to him in the marital realm were squashed. I also happened to have an advocate who had too many things on his plate. He did, however, before the annulment was granted, hear my very personal and private vows of the Evangelical Counsels, as I committed to a life as such, regardless of whether the annulment was granted or not. Of course it was, but I'm just sayin'....
Now, first, before I get into all the positives that ARE the action of going through a Catholic annulment, it is important to at least pursue one to the best of your ability. If you do not have an advocate, contact the Tribunal office, as they should have people with whom you may connect. If you are cash strapped (very often the case for women), many diocese have funds to assist you. I went to a seminar for perspective candidates for annulments and a few men stomped out. One I was able to catch and ask him to put on his listening ears. With much trepidation, he listened to me and was surprised. Why? BECAUSE THE KEY IS TO SIMPLY GO THROUGH THE PROCESS OR MAKE AN EARNEST ATTEMPT. Yes, there is always the possibility that yours will be denied, or you just can't get the money together. You may feel like it's just another opportunity to go through the pain of mourning the loss of your marital relationship all over again. However, I submit that those sorts of feelings are neither wrong nor serve no purpose.
When I began my process,which coincided with the advent of the discernment phase of my life (one which, I feel will always be an ongoing process), I was feeling overwhelmed at all I had to do. I procrastinated filling out my part. But, as I finally took on that task, I discovered a beautiful side of myself.
I first realized that I am NOT a wife or simply a mother. I am me. All of me, beautiful and ugly. You see, if you complete the form and answer its questions with all the sincerity you own, you must face yourself and your part in any or all of went wrong. You really see yourself as the flawed creation of God that those of us who, unlike the Holy Mother, was born with the stain of original sin and, good gravy, do we live up to every moment of it! You have to search your soul and recognize, most often, how immature or misguided we were in choosing to go through with a covenential commitment. You see every wart in your actions and behaviors. That is an eye opener one never expects.
However, with that self revelation comes a beautiful, blue, loving conversion of your heart. You may already be a devout Catholic Christian, but this deepens that devotion in words that even I (the worlds foremost purveyor of baloney in my orations) wasn't expecting to feel. Very often, as I wrote my admissions, my eyes would well up and I would smell roses, the gift I have been given my Our Lord to let me know that my true spiritual director, His dear mother, was with me to help in guiding my path. Once I completed that form and turned it in, I felt like I had lost 20 pounds.... unfortunatley I didn't physically, but at least I felt it! ;-)
A few more myths to knock down: NO, your children are not illegitimate and keep ties to their father. Just as no unborn child chooses their parents, the lifestyle in which they were initiated, your children do not inherit errors in judgement that the parents or parent may have made. Annulment doesn't mean the marriage did not exist. It means that THE MARRIAGE WAS NOT SACRAMENTAL IN THE EYES OF THE CHURCH. Nothing is invalidated. So, to quote Barney Fife, I want to NIP THAT IN THE BUD!
The next truth that people seem to be unaware, is that if you are unable to obtain church annulment, you are not doomed. THE IMPORTANT THING IS TO GO THROUGH THE PROCESS! You must at least make your best attempt. There are remedies such as dispensation from your situation. Or, you maybe able to clear it up in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Your priest with whom you have established a raport might vouch for you. Even if you are living with a spouse, let's say for an example, a loved one who is dying or has a form a dimentia that is irreversable, if you commit to living a life of chastity, again you might be able.
With my Oblate Sisters of Mary Magdalene, I recognize that some women are already married and living a consecrated vocation or women who for a variety of reasons just don't feel they are a candidate for annulment, I have provisions to still accept them into my religious fold. We have the Intercessors program. These might be women who fell into my first category or the latter. If you are married, you may continue to live that beautiful vocation, with no interference by OSMM, but you must obtain your husband's permission. You may take a promise to "pray without ceasing" and learn our charism and rule. Since you are already "a secular", we cannot interfere with His love and plan for you. For another exampe, everyone else, if you are awaiting to hear from the tribual with a yay or nay, you can still make that promise. Most especially for the latter, you may make that personal and private commitment with the clergy member of your choosing. Then, if he will also submit a letter of recommendation for you. As long as you living a chaste lifestyle and live the life or the OSMM, you will still be a sister equal to all other consecrated members. Never panic when this becomes an "issue" for you. With God, all things are possible. And, for me and my house, we will serve The Lord".... that is from my only Kincaid print AND Sacred Scripture! :D
May God's love continue to surround you and be your beacon of hope on your journey.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Friday, June 5, 2009
Pray for the Beatification of Pope John Paul II
I was reminded of something today. As I opened my daily newsletter from New Advent, the first topic that caught my eye was the one about the beatification of our beloved Pope John Paul II. A living saint when he was the pontiff and tough shoes for the present Pope Benedict to fill, the process that will lead to his canonization will be no surprise for those of us who were so blessed to live Catholic during his leadership. They are waiting for a miracle.
The article hinted to the process to begin soon and advised people to not be surprised how quickly it may come. My mind went back to all of the wonders of his life. Coming of age in Poland, fighting Communism, rallying young people (the older he got, the more youth were drawn to him), giving a sympathetic ear to the apparitions in Medjugore while he was unable to publicly declare them legitimate, fighting for human rights and the rights of the unborn.... there are to many marvelous aspects of his days with us, that I cannot list them all. I think the thing about him that is dearest to my heart, is that my devotion to Mother Church swelled under his authority. While I have been practicing the majority of my life, I felt this holy man's presence at so many times in my life, I feel he worked a personal miracle for me. With him as our pope, I felt free to grow in my love for Christ and His Church.
I plan to make a point of praying now with the intention of his beatification being a special part.
You may read this article at http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/new.php?n=16202.
The article hinted to the process to begin soon and advised people to not be surprised how quickly it may come. My mind went back to all of the wonders of his life. Coming of age in Poland, fighting Communism, rallying young people (the older he got, the more youth were drawn to him), giving a sympathetic ear to the apparitions in Medjugore while he was unable to publicly declare them legitimate, fighting for human rights and the rights of the unborn.... there are to many marvelous aspects of his days with us, that I cannot list them all. I think the thing about him that is dearest to my heart, is that my devotion to Mother Church swelled under his authority. While I have been practicing the majority of my life, I felt this holy man's presence at so many times in my life, I feel he worked a personal miracle for me. With him as our pope, I felt free to grow in my love for Christ and His Church.
I plan to make a point of praying now with the intention of his beatification being a special part.
You may read this article at http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/new.php?n=16202.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
My Favorite Mother's Day
I cannot believe that it has taken me this long to share the one Mother's Day in my life as a mom. It has been sometime, but every time since that this day rolls around, I think of this.
I adopted Monique on May 27, 1997. She had been living with me since her 5th birthday on October 19, 1996. I had been in the county children services adoption process for over two years and she was the answer to prayers. Literally.
I was associated with the Companions of Jesus the Good Shepherd, a group connected to the Good Shepherd Sisters of North America. The foundress, St. Mary Euphrasia Peletier, was the first woman to found a congregation of women that not only had no male counter part in its roots, but allowed penitent women to become sisters. Now, if you were a young woman of means, you would be a choir sister. Middle class sisters became the active religious. The penitents were the Magdalens and didn't live in community with the other contemplative or active religious sisters. In deed, some of them lived at home during the evenings, but spent their days with the congregation, doing the work of the Good Shepherds, albeit what we may call this day "grunt work". Bottom line, the benevolent foundress' charism was to show love, compassion and refuge to disenfranchised women and children.
It was to this favored saint of mine that I prayed a nine day novena before 11 am each day, along with an Our Father, a Hail Mary and a Glory Be. On the 9th day, at 11:05 am, my social worker called and told me they had a little girl named Monique that they have matched to me. She moved in on her birthday and two weeks later, even though the adoption was far from final and, to be honest, it wasn't "legal", I had her baptized Monique Marie Euphrasia, in thanksgiving to our favorite saints.
Then, comes the month of May, with Mother's Day just three weeks before our court date, my older 16 year old daughter and Monique had planned the perfect day for me. We attended mass in the morning, after which Rachel gave me a carnation and Monique gave me a beautiful, Japanese painted rock, decorated with a pink orchid (a re gifted item that my sister had given me years before, but she found it, liked it, wrapped it and re gifted it.... it is still to this day my favorite).
Then, they banished me to my room, to watch TV and videos, while they prepared my "surprise" spaghetti dinner. It was a surprise, because I wasn't supposed to know what they were cooking, as if the scent didn't give away a thing....
The dialogue down the hall was like listening to an old Abbot & Costello radio broadcast. "Mom! She won't let me help!" "Mom, she doesn't know how to set the table." "Mom! Can .... come back there with you?!" "No, YOU go back there!"
Finally, dinner was served and it tasted superb! Of course it did. It doesn't matter what was on the menu, I didn't have to cook it and it was prepared with love.
At the end of the day, I put Monique in her nightly bubble bath. She splashed, played and sung as usual. I was across the hall in my room, on the phone with one of my sisters. I told her, "...it was the best Mother's Day. I really enjoyed it." And from across the hall, a little voice shouted, "Me too!"
Happy Mothers Day!
I adopted Monique on May 27, 1997. She had been living with me since her 5th birthday on October 19, 1996. I had been in the county children services adoption process for over two years and she was the answer to prayers. Literally.
I was associated with the Companions of Jesus the Good Shepherd, a group connected to the Good Shepherd Sisters of North America. The foundress, St. Mary Euphrasia Peletier, was the first woman to found a congregation of women that not only had no male counter part in its roots, but allowed penitent women to become sisters. Now, if you were a young woman of means, you would be a choir sister. Middle class sisters became the active religious. The penitents were the Magdalens and didn't live in community with the other contemplative or active religious sisters. In deed, some of them lived at home during the evenings, but spent their days with the congregation, doing the work of the Good Shepherds, albeit what we may call this day "grunt work". Bottom line, the benevolent foundress' charism was to show love, compassion and refuge to disenfranchised women and children.
It was to this favored saint of mine that I prayed a nine day novena before 11 am each day, along with an Our Father, a Hail Mary and a Glory Be. On the 9th day, at 11:05 am, my social worker called and told me they had a little girl named Monique that they have matched to me. She moved in on her birthday and two weeks later, even though the adoption was far from final and, to be honest, it wasn't "legal", I had her baptized Monique Marie Euphrasia, in thanksgiving to our favorite saints.
Then, comes the month of May, with Mother's Day just three weeks before our court date, my older 16 year old daughter and Monique had planned the perfect day for me. We attended mass in the morning, after which Rachel gave me a carnation and Monique gave me a beautiful, Japanese painted rock, decorated with a pink orchid (a re gifted item that my sister had given me years before, but she found it, liked it, wrapped it and re gifted it.... it is still to this day my favorite).
Then, they banished me to my room, to watch TV and videos, while they prepared my "surprise" spaghetti dinner. It was a surprise, because I wasn't supposed to know what they were cooking, as if the scent didn't give away a thing....
The dialogue down the hall was like listening to an old Abbot & Costello radio broadcast. "Mom! She won't let me help!" "Mom, she doesn't know how to set the table." "Mom! Can .... come back there with you?!" "No, YOU go back there!"
Finally, dinner was served and it tasted superb! Of course it did. It doesn't matter what was on the menu, I didn't have to cook it and it was prepared with love.
At the end of the day, I put Monique in her nightly bubble bath. She splashed, played and sung as usual. I was across the hall in my room, on the phone with one of my sisters. I told her, "...it was the best Mother's Day. I really enjoyed it." And from across the hall, a little voice shouted, "Me too!"
Happy Mothers Day!
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Deliver us from evil
I am the type of person who spends a lot of time in reflection. I have no reason, but I try to glean some wisdom from experience, especially now that I officially have some :) Last night, I was remembering a brief conversation with an agnostic young man who was resolved never to get caught up in religion again. He had fallen in love with a young Mormon girl and tried to enter that church. The break up was acrimonious, and left a bad taste in his mouth.
He couldn't get past the notion of original sin. He said that he cannot reconcile a loving God with His creations being inherently "bad". There was no phrasing it in a way that he would hear. Each attempt I made was rejected with hostility. Well, I let go and let God, because if he wants to go through life making excuses for his mistakes and rationalizing negative behaviors, with prayer from believers, he will recognize that there IS such a thing as right and wrong.
Then, my mind went to another conversation, this time with a searching, young teenage woman. She said that the concept of purgatory bothered her, that it makes her want to turn away from God. Now at least with her, there was the belief in a Loving and Living God, so I was able to get my foot in the door.
First, I was able to tell her that purgatory is a spiritual cleansing period, because she cannot be presented to the Father with an unclean soul. That, she said was insulting, because that is saying God doesn't love her the way she is.
Aha! I said, it proves that He does love her, the real her, not the one who may have done something she didn't confess, the original sin side in us all. He wants to see her as beautiful as she was the day He made her.
It just happened to be a time when she and one of my daughters were getting ready for prom. I told her, "Okay, so, when you go to the prom, you won't need this dress or the new hair do. Don't get your nails done, don't put on make up and GOD FORBID you take a shower!" She just laughed. So I explained that what could be more important than a prom? That would be going before the King of Kings, the Most High. Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ! Purgatory is painful, because you are removed from God's presence, but you will not STAY there, and when you are presented before God, you will be clean, as Adam and Eve were when He first created them.
Well, she waived me off, and continued shopping for the perfect pair of shoes. But you know, I spoke with her dear mother about ten years later. Her daughter is considering consecrated life even though her mom feels she is too young. And, she might be, because I don't know her as her mother does. But, it turns out that pooh-poohed conversation had an impact that I didn't know about!
You never know when you will make a difference. Even the smallest gesture of kindness or even unsolicited advice can make a big change in someone's heart. I wonder what that young man is doing these days?
He couldn't get past the notion of original sin. He said that he cannot reconcile a loving God with His creations being inherently "bad". There was no phrasing it in a way that he would hear. Each attempt I made was rejected with hostility. Well, I let go and let God, because if he wants to go through life making excuses for his mistakes and rationalizing negative behaviors, with prayer from believers, he will recognize that there IS such a thing as right and wrong.
Then, my mind went to another conversation, this time with a searching, young teenage woman. She said that the concept of purgatory bothered her, that it makes her want to turn away from God. Now at least with her, there was the belief in a Loving and Living God, so I was able to get my foot in the door.
First, I was able to tell her that purgatory is a spiritual cleansing period, because she cannot be presented to the Father with an unclean soul. That, she said was insulting, because that is saying God doesn't love her the way she is.
Aha! I said, it proves that He does love her, the real her, not the one who may have done something she didn't confess, the original sin side in us all. He wants to see her as beautiful as she was the day He made her.
It just happened to be a time when she and one of my daughters were getting ready for prom. I told her, "Okay, so, when you go to the prom, you won't need this dress or the new hair do. Don't get your nails done, don't put on make up and GOD FORBID you take a shower!" She just laughed. So I explained that what could be more important than a prom? That would be going before the King of Kings, the Most High. Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ! Purgatory is painful, because you are removed from God's presence, but you will not STAY there, and when you are presented before God, you will be clean, as Adam and Eve were when He first created them.
Well, she waived me off, and continued shopping for the perfect pair of shoes. But you know, I spoke with her dear mother about ten years later. Her daughter is considering consecrated life even though her mom feels she is too young. And, she might be, because I don't know her as her mother does. But, it turns out that pooh-poohed conversation had an impact that I didn't know about!
You never know when you will make a difference. Even the smallest gesture of kindness or even unsolicited advice can make a big change in someone's heart. I wonder what that young man is doing these days?
Sunday, March 29, 2009
CONVERTS RULE & here is one reason why....
Okay, don't worry about me coming up with several verbose reasons that Catholic Converts rule (even though we do... in fact we ROCK), but I was so inspired in a conversation with a fellow Oblate Sister of Mary Magdalene. In fact it was Sr. Magdalen who inspired me to explain in detail my reasons for making that broad brush stroke statement. You see, a convert to Catholicism is much like a person who used to be fat or an ex-smoker, almost obsessive in their zeal to reveal "the truth".
Now naturally, the Sacrament that is most dear to our hearts as it is to all Catholics, is the Eucharist. It is receiving the True Presence of Christ, available to us almost every day, that we can boast being THE one component of our faith where we know what non Catholics are missing. I heard one of my favorite priests say in a homily that he read somewhere that a non Catholic person advised his Catholic friend, that if the Eucharist is truly what we believe, he would crawl for miles to receive Him. And, since we are speaking the Truth, that goes without saying. Who among us wouldn’t do that?
What is special about converts, is that our next favorite Sacrament surprises most other people. The Sacrament of Reconciliation would almost always be cited as the second most precious gift, left by Jesus through the Sacraments. Yes, of course we have heard all of the baby boomers horror stories about making Confessions and the “dreadful” priests that heard them and administered painful penance for the least infraction. That made young girls fear boys with warts on their hands and young men cringe at the thought of relieving frustration. Those terrible priests! But again, those of us who converted from any non Catholic faith (ironically, of the nine people I took classes when I did, oh, some years back during the Cretaceous Period, we were all Methodists backgrounds!) knew exactly what we had been missing.
The Confessional pre dates Sigmund Freud. Over the years, priests were called upon to fill the shoes of Jesus and serve as the therapists for thousands upon thousands of penitents. When you had no where to turn and you had to face your fears, you could escape to the anonymous sanctuary, the confessional. You didn’t even have to face your confessor. All you had to do was pray as Jesus washed your sins away.
Allow me to go back to the 80’s, when my birth daughter, Rachel, was still just a girl, I had occasion to meet with our parish priest, Fr. Dimond, for what escapes me now. What happened in that room was far beyond me and an amazing experience. It overshadowed and made insignificant anything I had expected.
All I remember was sitting down with a stack of books and pamphlets. All of a sudden, I started to speak, it was an involuntary and spontaneous surge of words that sprang from my mouth, “Forgive me father, for I have sinned….” I proceeded to tell the priest of something I had done. Something I had pushed in the back of my mind so that I might believe I had never done such a thing. Something I had sworn I would forget and never deal with again. Tears poured out of my eyes and Father was rushing to prepare his vestments. I still cannot believe that I spoke it. Left to my own frail devices, I would have gone the rest of my life with that burden, consumed in the flame of guilt and no repentance, just stupid denial.
Then, I heard the soft voice of the priest, “Oh, how desperate you must have been.” He began to say words of encouragement and forgiveness. A love that I never really knew existed appeared before me at that moment and when he laid his hand on my head to absolve me of my sins, I felt what I can only describe as a hot flash, a bolt of energy from the tips of my toes to the top of my head. And, it was released. I felt as if I had lost some 25 pounds of hideous weight. I never knew I could feel so good. Then, Father held me for what seemed to be an eternity. I will confess, I have tried to be stoic all of my life. Not successfully, but my upper lip was as stiff as I could make it. I cannot describe the relief, the love, the repentance I experienced. There really are no words, but when I was advised to go in peace and sin no more, well, I DID go in peace J
Ever since that day, I have not feared nor swept under the rug that Sacrament. When I read something about Our Lady’s alleged apparitions in Medjugore that reminded her people to visit the Sacraments as often as possible, I am sure she meant Confession too. I am positive. And, I do. Visit the Sacraments often, that is.
I am telling you, CONVERTS RULE!
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Softly & Tenderly
The rural Ohio area where I grew up is Non Catholic heaven. My small hometown, with a population of 600 people at that time (it is experiencing a boom at the moment with a Honda plant nearby) and now has grown to 900. But our little village has 4 non Catholic churches. When we were very young, our Mother would take us to the Quaker church just up the street. The only African American church in the county was Baptist, and even though my father was raised Baptist, he was non practicing. Mom held a deep prejudice for Baptists, the only discriminatory bone in her body. Finally, when I was about 8 years old, there opened a small African Methodist Episcopal church, Grace A.M.E., in the county seat of Bellefontaine (pronounced "bell fountain). So we started going there, but by that time I became vocal about my desire to go to a Catholic church. But I had also developed a deep affection for protestant hymns and gospel music, both country and black. My favorite was "Softly and Tenderly"'
The lyrics make my love for that hymn obvious:
"Softly & tenderly, Jesus is calling.
Calling for you and for me.
Though we have sinned,
He has mercy and pardon,
Pardon for you and for me.
Come Home, Come Home,
Ye who are weary come Home.
Earnestly, tenderly Jesus is calling,
Calling all sinners come Home. "
Now, for the Evangelical, Pentecostal and non denominational faiths, this is a funeral song. Same for Baptists & the Church of Christ parishioners. But, as a Catholic, I take from it so much more. I converted to Catholicism, and each time over the years when I have faltered, the confessor in the Sacrament of Reconciliation would remind me that I am always welcome. That is one of the beauties of Mother Church. You don't need an epiphany or sudden surge of the Holy Spirit. All you have to do is come home. Yes, you do need to make a confession, but as I have said before, that is my favorite Sacrament after the Eucharist. Moreover, each time I receive the Body & Blood of our dear Lord Jesus, I know I am home. That is one of my acts of answering his, "....calling all sinners, come Home". Indeed, it reaffirms for me why I am a Roman Catholic.
When I attended my first Mass, I knew I was home. Granted I was young and being the only "negro" child in the congregation, I garnered quite a bit of benevolent attention..... that certainly helped convince me that my call to Rome Sweet Home, as Scott Hahn would say, was real and legitimate. When one of my older sisters became Muslim, she and both of her ex husbands were baffled at my skill in Catholic Apologetics. I mean, it was a simple matter of the fact that I cannot really understand nor empathize with a faith where there is no Jesus. Yes, they acknowledge Him as a great prophet and venerate the Holy Mother, but they give the same argument that many Jewish Apologists give, that God doesn't have a family. To which I always reply, "Then, who are we to God?" That "mystical" question, that part of Christianity that they do not understand, just got me some very blank stares that seared right through my head. I am disaffected.
Then, my younger sister was "Born Again" and is now an Evangelical Christian. She had a change of heart, to some degree, after having a job working with a Catholic Social Service agency after Hurricane Katrina and then working with poor Hispanic immigrants. She finally acknowledged that Catholics are Christians, as before, she was led to believe it to be a cult. Moreover, she also finally admitted to me that she knows now, she was preaching to the choir when she was trying to convert me. She realized that I had been "saved" way before she was. And, I remind her that, yes, I was saved, I am being saved and I will be saved in the future. That beautiful ongoing process of the road to holiness Catholics enjoy and many take for granted.
As I work with two other Oblate Sisters of Mary Magdalene, Sr. Mary Magdalene and Sr. Clare Marie, we discuss the entrance process to becoming one of our sisters. I have decided, one thing we might do that is unorthodox, is welcome fallen away Catholics and, possibly, people of another Church. But they would first become lay associates. I would grant them the opportunity to wear the dress of our habit when attending common retreats, meetings & functions, but no veil. And, they could become a postulate and/or novitiate (depending on their progress to the goal I am about to mention), but part of their formation would be to attend RCIA or form a relationship with a good spiritual director who will assist them in listening to and actually hearing Jesus' call. The call that is delivered so softly and tenderly. Our sisters need a close relationship with Jesus and His Church, because to achieve that is critical to our way of prayer life. We imitate Christ. We pray without ceasing, even through a busy or difficult work day. It sustains us until we can receive Lord Jesus in the Eucharist. Our Holy Communion is what holds us together, not just as Catholics, but as Oblate Sisters of Mary Magdalene.
Yeah..... I know what you were thinking when you first began to read this. "Where is she going with THIS? Is she having another Senior Moment?" Well, I might be having just that. But even if that is so, it's part of my closer walk with Jesus, another non Catholic hymn! ;-)
The lyrics make my love for that hymn obvious:
"Softly & tenderly, Jesus is calling.
Calling for you and for me.
Though we have sinned,
He has mercy and pardon,
Pardon for you and for me.
Come Home, Come Home,
Ye who are weary come Home.
Earnestly, tenderly Jesus is calling,
Calling all sinners come Home. "
Now, for the Evangelical, Pentecostal and non denominational faiths, this is a funeral song. Same for Baptists & the Church of Christ parishioners. But, as a Catholic, I take from it so much more. I converted to Catholicism, and each time over the years when I have faltered, the confessor in the Sacrament of Reconciliation would remind me that I am always welcome. That is one of the beauties of Mother Church. You don't need an epiphany or sudden surge of the Holy Spirit. All you have to do is come home. Yes, you do need to make a confession, but as I have said before, that is my favorite Sacrament after the Eucharist. Moreover, each time I receive the Body & Blood of our dear Lord Jesus, I know I am home. That is one of my acts of answering his, "....calling all sinners, come Home". Indeed, it reaffirms for me why I am a Roman Catholic.
When I attended my first Mass, I knew I was home. Granted I was young and being the only "negro" child in the congregation, I garnered quite a bit of benevolent attention..... that certainly helped convince me that my call to Rome Sweet Home, as Scott Hahn would say, was real and legitimate. When one of my older sisters became Muslim, she and both of her ex husbands were baffled at my skill in Catholic Apologetics. I mean, it was a simple matter of the fact that I cannot really understand nor empathize with a faith where there is no Jesus. Yes, they acknowledge Him as a great prophet and venerate the Holy Mother, but they give the same argument that many Jewish Apologists give, that God doesn't have a family. To which I always reply, "Then, who are we to God?" That "mystical" question, that part of Christianity that they do not understand, just got me some very blank stares that seared right through my head. I am disaffected.
Then, my younger sister was "Born Again" and is now an Evangelical Christian. She had a change of heart, to some degree, after having a job working with a Catholic Social Service agency after Hurricane Katrina and then working with poor Hispanic immigrants. She finally acknowledged that Catholics are Christians, as before, she was led to believe it to be a cult. Moreover, she also finally admitted to me that she knows now, she was preaching to the choir when she was trying to convert me. She realized that I had been "saved" way before she was. And, I remind her that, yes, I was saved, I am being saved and I will be saved in the future. That beautiful ongoing process of the road to holiness Catholics enjoy and many take for granted.
As I work with two other Oblate Sisters of Mary Magdalene, Sr. Mary Magdalene and Sr. Clare Marie, we discuss the entrance process to becoming one of our sisters. I have decided, one thing we might do that is unorthodox, is welcome fallen away Catholics and, possibly, people of another Church. But they would first become lay associates. I would grant them the opportunity to wear the dress of our habit when attending common retreats, meetings & functions, but no veil. And, they could become a postulate and/or novitiate (depending on their progress to the goal I am about to mention), but part of their formation would be to attend RCIA or form a relationship with a good spiritual director who will assist them in listening to and actually hearing Jesus' call. The call that is delivered so softly and tenderly. Our sisters need a close relationship with Jesus and His Church, because to achieve that is critical to our way of prayer life. We imitate Christ. We pray without ceasing, even through a busy or difficult work day. It sustains us until we can receive Lord Jesus in the Eucharist. Our Holy Communion is what holds us together, not just as Catholics, but as Oblate Sisters of Mary Magdalene.
Yeah..... I know what you were thinking when you first began to read this. "Where is she going with THIS? Is she having another Senior Moment?" Well, I might be having just that. But even if that is so, it's part of my closer walk with Jesus, another non Catholic hymn! ;-)
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Our Lady of Vocations, pray for us.
"John 20:11-18 But Mary stayed outside the tomb weeping. And as she wept, she bent over into the tomb and saw two angels in white sitting there, one at the head and one at the feet where the body of Jesus had been. And they said to her, "Woman, why are you weeping?" She said to them, "They have taken my Lord, and I don't know where they laid him."
When she had said this, she turned around and saw Jesus there, but did not know it was Jesus. Jesus said to her, "Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you looking for?" She thought it was the gardener and said to him, "Sir, if you carried him away, tell me where you laid him, and I will take him."
Jesus said to her, "Mary!" She turned and said to him in Hebrew, "Rabbouni," which means Teacher. Jesus said to her, "Stop holding on to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father. But go to my brothers and tell them, 'I am going to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.'"
Mary of Magdala went and announced to the disciples, "I have seen the Lord," and what he told her."
When I look at my life from an "out of body" perspective, it is clear as a bell. When I was young and shook off feelings of wanting to be Catholic and live religious life, I did what was "expected". I finished school, went to college, got married. Now the latter, that is one of my favorite pieces of schtick!
I don't believe I put my all into trying to find the right mate. All I knew is I was approaching 24 years old and would be, by my hometown's standards, an old maid. So, when I found someone who didn't run, was standing up right & breathing, he qualified. What a mistake. It is true that you can be married and much lonelier than being single. Now, Rachel Lindsey is a blessing, but the ex, well, bless his heart, he is mentally ill in a society that neglects people with illnesses of the brain. They are just not as attractive as an inability to walk, see or hear. My heart beats so much compassion for him. And, he is the only father my birth duaghter will ever know. But all that time, seeking my hearts desire, way off of the mark.
Then, once I was REALLY grown up, that is, at the age of 43, I realized that all of the wheel spinning I have done was even pointed in the wrong direction. I am called to be a bride of Christ. As I may have mentioned before, when I pray the Rosary, attend a Marian devotion, think of serving Jesus as a consecrated lay person, I smell roses. I had lost that over the past few years. When I tried to become a member of a newly forming pious association, I felt I wanted that more than anything. When I was released from inquiring, I was more devastated than ever. I now knew what it felt like to loose the man of your dreams. I was seperated from the sacraments for so long. I didn't feel worthy at all. And, I couldn't believe that God really loved the likes of me.
But now, I can see it. I sat weeping at the tomb. "Please, tell me where they took my Lord." Then, as benevolent and caring as He is, He has tapped my shoulder. Why have I been seeking the Living among the dead? God's will will always come, but it comes in His time. Not mine, not yours, not the Evil One's. He has been there all along. He is calling me to serve him. I don't need to conform to the calling of others. I have to respond to HIM AND HIS CALL. I have to do it the way He wants me. No more tears. No more waiting. And, I am receiving the Sacraments as often as possible. That includes the Sacrament of Reconciliation, next to the Eucharist, a convert's favorite. I feel His presence and that peace beyond understanding. His warm embrace has made my sometimes taxing existence, LIFE.
So, just as Mary of Magdala, weeping at the tomb, that was my life. But, He renewed me. He told me why I was looking for Him where He is not. I turned around, not recognizing Him at first. But now, I see. And, an Oblate Sister of Mary Magdalene wants to tell everyone what she has seen and been told.
When she had said this, she turned around and saw Jesus there, but did not know it was Jesus. Jesus said to her, "Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you looking for?" She thought it was the gardener and said to him, "Sir, if you carried him away, tell me where you laid him, and I will take him."
Jesus said to her, "Mary!" She turned and said to him in Hebrew, "Rabbouni," which means Teacher. Jesus said to her, "Stop holding on to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father. But go to my brothers and tell them, 'I am going to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.'"
Mary of Magdala went and announced to the disciples, "I have seen the Lord," and what he told her."
When I look at my life from an "out of body" perspective, it is clear as a bell. When I was young and shook off feelings of wanting to be Catholic and live religious life, I did what was "expected". I finished school, went to college, got married. Now the latter, that is one of my favorite pieces of schtick!
I don't believe I put my all into trying to find the right mate. All I knew is I was approaching 24 years old and would be, by my hometown's standards, an old maid. So, when I found someone who didn't run, was standing up right & breathing, he qualified. What a mistake. It is true that you can be married and much lonelier than being single. Now, Rachel Lindsey is a blessing, but the ex, well, bless his heart, he is mentally ill in a society that neglects people with illnesses of the brain. They are just not as attractive as an inability to walk, see or hear. My heart beats so much compassion for him. And, he is the only father my birth duaghter will ever know. But all that time, seeking my hearts desire, way off of the mark.
Then, once I was REALLY grown up, that is, at the age of 43, I realized that all of the wheel spinning I have done was even pointed in the wrong direction. I am called to be a bride of Christ. As I may have mentioned before, when I pray the Rosary, attend a Marian devotion, think of serving Jesus as a consecrated lay person, I smell roses. I had lost that over the past few years. When I tried to become a member of a newly forming pious association, I felt I wanted that more than anything. When I was released from inquiring, I was more devastated than ever. I now knew what it felt like to loose the man of your dreams. I was seperated from the sacraments for so long. I didn't feel worthy at all. And, I couldn't believe that God really loved the likes of me.
But now, I can see it. I sat weeping at the tomb. "Please, tell me where they took my Lord." Then, as benevolent and caring as He is, He has tapped my shoulder. Why have I been seeking the Living among the dead? God's will will always come, but it comes in His time. Not mine, not yours, not the Evil One's. He has been there all along. He is calling me to serve him. I don't need to conform to the calling of others. I have to respond to HIM AND HIS CALL. I have to do it the way He wants me. No more tears. No more waiting. And, I am receiving the Sacraments as often as possible. That includes the Sacrament of Reconciliation, next to the Eucharist, a convert's favorite. I feel His presence and that peace beyond understanding. His warm embrace has made my sometimes taxing existence, LIFE.
So, just as Mary of Magdala, weeping at the tomb, that was my life. But, He renewed me. He told me why I was looking for Him where He is not. I turned around, not recognizing Him at first. But now, I see. And, an Oblate Sister of Mary Magdalene wants to tell everyone what she has seen and been told.
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