A Different Take on Vocations

I have long been pursuing a life of consecration. I had my marriage annulled and even though I have two older special needs daughters, I also felt that I could find my niche in the various forms of consecrated vocations in the Catholic Church. The void in my life after marriage had nothing to do with companionship. Efforts in that direction felt even more empty.

I joined a Charismatic Prayer Group at my parish and one of the members gave me the name of a Dominican Sister who gave spiritual direction. Sr. Evelyn Gerhart has since founded her own community, the Daughters of St. Dominic, and is one of the most wonderful, Spirit filled people I have ever met. We explored a lot about where I was headed with my future. We discussed secular institutes, because most traditional communities were not available to me. It was meetings with her and going to some of the devotions she sponsored, that I found myself smelling roses when certain ideas came to mind. I felt that the ultimate spiritual director, Mary Mother of God, was giving me signals that I was on the right track.

This is the Cliff Notes version of my journey, but over the past 15 years, I have experienced several unhappy, unfortunate situations. Racism from a vocations director of a now defunct secular institute. I tried an association with some kind hearted and well meaning women, trying to establish a pious association in connection to an established congregation, but finding a great deal of resistance to this day. I realized my future wasn't with them, because they were too liberal for my heart. I do not believe in women priests, I am ardently pro-life, and inclusive language makes my skin crawl. I left them filled with great hopes to be part of a newer forming community, a pious association of sisters. But I was left with heartbreak, over a great misunderstanding and a betrayal from leaders of the parish to which I belonged at the time. That left me damaged and depressed for some time. And, of course, I questioned God's love for me.

But, then I remembered something Sr. Evelyn had told me. She said that if you feel the calling, it's real and legitimate. It is your obligation to God to find the place he has prepared for you. Now, I am renewed with hope and have decided to live private consecration now. I may find a group that I would feel comfortable being a member. I may not. I may find that the Holy Spirit will lead people to join me who are in the same or similar state in life and wants to answer the call to consecrate the very act of rasing Christian children to become pious adults. That is an important vocation right there and I believe it is important for people to see that those of us doing the "grunt work" of caring for children with special needs, adults with mental illness, people who are living without health care or providing nutrition for hungry children CONSECRATE those activites and claim that territory for the Glory of God.

I have started a discussion email group http://groups.yahoo.com/group/discerningsecondvocations. I would be most honored to discuss and engage people in an exchange of ideas on the topic of second vocations, both for men and women.

Peace and prayers
Iris Marie <><